In essence, what she said was, “Women are not given enough opportunities to say ‘yes.’”
But here’s the thing. The “sexy silence” model is based on two
stupid and outdated assumptions: 1) that a man’s pleasure takes priority
over a woman’s, and 2) that a woman’s pleasure must be expected and
assumed, because how could she ever resist a man? The “just say no”
part of the rule didn’t always exist. That developed later when society
realized that women should have some say in the matter. Duh.
But “just say no” isn’t enough. Imagine this: since men are expected
to make the first move in the majority of sexual situations, where does
that leave women if they’re not yet sure what they want? This “sexy
silence” standard makes saying “no” or “stop” even harder for women who
want to feel sexy but don’t necessarily want to do what their partner
wants to do; who want a hug goodnight, but not a kiss; who are excited
about kissing, but uncomfortable with petting; who are enthusiastic
about making out, but aren’t ready for sex. Being forced to say “no” or
“stop” will invariably make the experience end sooner than it might
otherwise, and on a rather negative note, even if it started positively
with both people excited. Come to think of it, I can’t think of
anything less sexy or romantic than making an enthusiastic move and
being pushed away, or having to tell someone whom I like to stop what
they’re doing.
https://queerguesscode.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/un-memorizing-the-silence-is-sexy-date-script/
