The Letter excerpts below: http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2013-09-a-message-to-teenage-girls-about-that-letter-from-mr
Finally, last but not least, I do not want you to ever believe
Mrs. Hall’s words, that you are to blame for boys viewing you as a
sexual object. There is a difference, first of all, between seeing you
as an attractive or sexy human vs. viewing you as only a sexual
object. There will undoubtedly be some people in your life who think
you’re sexy no matter how much or how little you wear, and that’s not a
bad thing—you probably think some people are sexy, too!—as long as they
don’t see you as only your body. People can love and respect and
value you, admire your work ethic or your sense of humor or your
brilliance or your generosity, and still find you sexy. If you are seen
as attractive by someone who also respects and values you as an entire,
complex, wonderful human being, that’s OK.
And I wish that, rather than blaming you for corrupting her sons’
innocent minds, Mrs. Hall was more concerned with teaching her sons that
women are human beings worthy of respect and value no matter what
they’re wearing in their Facebook profile shots. Boys are not some kind
of unwitting victims who are helpless before your bare shoulder or your
pouty stare, left with no choice but to see you as a mere body. And if
there is only one thing I could tell you, it would be that you are
never, ever, to blame for unwanted sexual attention of any kind, whether
it’s verbal harassment or physical assault.
Angi Becker Stevens lives in the metro-Detroit area, where she is
an active member of The Organization for a Free Society. Her writing on
feminism and other forms of social justice has appeared in such places
as RH Reality Check, the Ms. Magazine blog, AlterNet, and Common Dreams.
Her first collection of short fiction will be available in 2014 from
Aqueous Books.
